identity disturbance

Stuck awake again
Tossing and turning in bed
Tired and trying to tell if its me
Or someone else
Who can't get comfortable in my head

epithelialization

Scraping my nails over raw skin
I wish I could peel you off in swaths
Seconds slipping right over me
Counted by the soft crackling of detaching
But every grain I manage to pinch
Flakes off of me like forgiven sins
Grinding exfoliant over my burns
Shedding your stardust off me
It snows and seeps into the carpet
Molt through the pain until I am new

61°

there's comfort in hearing the TV
mumble from the other room
huddling myself when the air is cool
or when I'm too scared to move
I need to be so connected with you
and never know what you do
if you shed but a single seed
I'm already feeding off it's roots
how do I harbor any healthy doubt
when my feelings reek of truth
worship under your sunny skies
and tie off a lonely noose

rapt

Being in love with you feels so calm
Walking through me spangled in peace
Talking to you would be so easy
If I could just iron out the sheets
Instead of smearing them in ink
Solitary, I worship you in psalms

phases

I'm just a girl who likes the warmth
cozy spaces and lots of green
the magic flowing amongst spring
a wooden cabin hidden in the forest
an embarrassing cottagecore dream
but the surfaces are slicked in grease
collecting grass and little leaves
slipping on the floor, falling to my knees
if I had claws they'd be protracting

there's a cauldron in the back room
my potions of herbs and perfumes
manifesting over candles, burning notes
every summer scent conjures your ghost
your lavender smoke cleansing my throat
effluvious gloom slithers in every room
so I'm always thinking about you
the way you waft down through the trees
you are the sunlight swirling around me

I go outside at night just to stare at the moon
she's pulling at the tide because it pours out of my eyes
vacant stare drifting deep into dark skies
recognize her light is just reflecting you

dust

There's a sourness to the air
Feeling so lonely
And wanting to run away
To empty solitude

Even when the mountains
Cradle my heart in their arms
I'll lay alone in a cabin
Shrinking under the stars

Her holy abyss inhales me
But the universe only feels
More and more empty
After every missed wish

I want it to empty me
Siphon my light like sap
Cloak me in shadows
So I disappate into her breath

save me

I believe that you
are composed of sunshine
or some kind of starlight
refracting through
stained glass windows
baptizing me in rainbows
holy light in polychrome

I think that love is cosmic
power sent far beyond
sailing through the void
praying that something
could be out there waiting
deep beneath the stars
lonely thumping hearts

I hope you understand
warmth on my skin
soul in my hands
frozen in your gaze
melting beneath you
manifested dreams
you are everything

divinity manisfestation

I'm obsessed with nature
Snaking through roots
I feel the magic in grass
The cold breath of stone
I want to knit nature
Into everything I do
Hone its magic inside of me
Etch it into my poems

But the goddess watches me
Lost in the forest
Chasing nymphs in the snow
Invoked earth beseech me
Shuttered in my notes

But Goddess,
If there is any more magic
Left in these words
Please allow these
To make me hers

desecration

Sickly still heat, baking in quiet peace
Sliding between sweat soaked tweed
And the carpet marked pits on her knees
Her insides blaze as she pleads
Eyes unflinching from the altar
Tomorrow the church will be debris
Today she sobs between screams
Resigned to her fate as the final martyr
It's the last thing she has to offer
What more does the goddess require?
She venerated her name and sung in the choir
She wore her talisman around her neck
And branded her mark across her chest
The icon of her goddess stay silently still
Reserved hollow eyes fixed beyond
Her ultimate acolyte yet to despond
In hours, heretics will drag her down the aisle
And she will witness the cathedral defiled
She beseeches her goddess one last time
Smite the heathens and rain holy fire
The sun shines and lightning doesn't strike
Faithlessly, she weeps and closes her eyes

Poem 2

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